| What is this annoying, insidious angst that | | | | applying that philosophy to myself.I guess I |
| permeates my psyche? In all other regards, | | | | have been slowly improving. Having taken part |
| I'm a moderately confident guy. I'm secure in | | | | in an author's fair, having been called a |
| my abilities to be a good father, husband, | | | | "local author" by newspapers and radio hosts, |
| employee, friend, gardener, etc. And, heck! | | | | having been dubbed "Genesee Valley Writer," |
| Lots of folks tell me I'm a good writer. I'm | | | | has helped. As I receive more and more |
| passionate about my writing. I consumed by my | | | | reviews from strangers (those who don't |
| stories. I can't stop, can't envision life | | | | "have" to tell me I'm good), the anxiety has |
| without it.Yet, I have this persistent fear | | | | lessened a tad. But still, each time I know |
| that I will be "outed" as a fraud by the next | | | | someone is reading the book, this annoying |
| highbrow literary critic that comes upon my | | | | worry niggles around in brain. Will they like |
| work. Even though complete strangers have | | | | it? Will they see through me and spotlight |
| given surprisingly glowing reviews to my | | | | the flaws? Will my still-fragile author ego |
| first (and worst) book, even though my | | | | be smashed?It's so silly. I really hate it. I |
| readers tell me otherwise, I can't get over | | | | have to stop caring that when I've bared my |
| the fear that a "real" writer will some day | | | | soul to the world, it might get trounced on, |
| come along and renounce me, sending banishing | | | | smashed, and spattered with criticism. I |
| me into the netherworld of faux writer fools | | | | guess it's time to admit... I am a "real" |
| who tumble around with ridiculous stories and | | | | writer. And that's a step in the "write" |
| are woefully inadequate when put to the | | | | direction.Aaron Paul Lazar |
| task.I know it's absurd. I've told friends, | | | | |
| many friends, who write beautifully, that | | | | Paul Lazar resides in Upstate New York with |
| they are writers simply due to the process. | | | | his wife, three daughters, two grandsons, |
| If it's in your blood, if you can't stop, if | | | | mother-in- law, two dogs, and three cats. |
| your day is filled with the details of the | | | | After writing in the early morning hours, he |
| next chapter, if you write for therapy, then | | | | works as an electrophotographic engineer at |
| you are a writer! You don't need a degree in | | | | NexPress Solutions Inc., part of Kodak's |
| English Lit or Composition to qualify. Heck, | | | | Graphic Communications Group, in Rochester, |
| my degree is in Engineering. You don't need a | | | | New York. |
| degree, period! And yet, I have trouble | | | | |