| What is this annoying, insidious angst that permeates | | | | chapter, if you write for therapy, then you are a |
| my psyche? In all other regards, I'm a moderately | | | | writer! You don't need a degree in English Lit or |
| confident guy. I'm secure in my abilities to be a good | | | | Composition to qualify. Heck, my degree is in |
| father, husband, employee, friend, gardener, etc. And, | | | | Engineering. You don't need a degree, period! And |
| heck! Lots of folks tell me I'm a good writer. I'm | | | | yet, I have trouble applying that philosophy to |
| passionate about my writing. I consumed by my | | | | myself. |
| stories. I can't stop, can't envision life without it. | | | | I guess I have been slowly improving. Having taken |
| Yet, I have this persistent fear that I will be "outed" | | | | part in an author's fair, having been called a "local |
| as a fraud by the next highbrow literary critic that | | | | author" by newspapers and radio hosts, having been |
| comes upon my work. Even though complete | | | | dubbed "Genesee Valley Writer," has helped. As I |
| strangers have given surprisingly glowing reviews to | | | | receive more and more reviews from strangers |
| my first (and worst) book, even though my readers | | | | (those who don't "have" to tell me I'm good), the |
| tell me otherwise, I can't get over the fear that a | | | | anxiety has lessened a tad. But still, each time I know |
| "real" writer will some day come along and renounce | | | | someone is reading the book, this annoying worry |
| me, sending banishing me into the netherworld of | | | | niggles around in brain. Will they like it? Will they see |
| faux writer fools who tumble around with ridiculous | | | | through me and spotlight the flaws? Will my |
| stories and are woefully inadequate when put to the | | | | still-fragile author ego be smashed? |
| task. | | | | It's so silly. I really hate it. I have to stop caring that |
| I know it's absurd. I've told friends, many friends, | | | | when I've bared my soul to the world, it might get |
| who write beautifully, that they are writers simply | | | | trounced on, smashed, and spattered with criticism. I |
| due to the process. If it's in your blood, if you can't | | | | guess it's time to admit... I am a "real" writer. And |
| stop, if your day is filled with the details of the next | | | | that's a step in the "write" direction. |