Pipe Down!

Life is funny.hand in front of people's chests when we approach a
My twenty-year-old daughter, Melanie, has a her newroad crossing. My friends get a bit annoyed with me,
summer job as a nanny for three small children. She'sbut old habits are hard to break
an aspiring operatic soprano who was whisked off toI was about thirty years old the first time I realized
a rich suburb near Manhattan the day after her finalshow much like my own father I'd become. I got up
had ended at the Eastman School of Music. Herfrom a chair and grunted. Just like Dad. I walked
mother and I miss her dreadfully. Thank God for ouracross the floorboards with loud, heavy footfalls. Just
Family Talk Plan!like Dad. And I reacted to a glass of spilled juice with
Last night, she called home and as we discussed mythe same, "Argh!" Just like Dad.
upcoming book signing at Borders, she called out,This parenting thing and the cycles that propel us
"You two need to pipe down and go to sleep! I don'tthrough life are puzzling. For the past twenty-two
want to hear one more peep out of you!"years, I've defined myself as a father. It was the
I doubled over with laughter. The tears streamedall-encompassing label that described me. More than
down my cheeks. The tone and emphasis wasengineer, more than husband, more than passionate
identical to my own words uttered night after nightgardener, more than aspiring author - it fit. Life was
to Melanie and her twin sister, Allison, when theychauffeuring Jennifer to band practice, Allison to her
were little. When she came back on the phone, shedance lessons, and Melanie to play rehearsals. It was
joined in my laughter.helping with homework, doing mountains of laundry,
"You know, Dad, it's weird. I'm turning into you andand trying to cook for an army on Sundays so we'd
mom. I'm so strict, I'm worried all the time abouthave nutritious, albeit monotonous, meals all week. It
them! I hear you in my own voice each time I talk tomeant leaving work early to make Allison's cross
them! And when did I learn all the lyrics to thesecountry meets, designing tee shirts to promote the
Raffi songs?"school musicals, and helping Jenn find a decent car for
I thought about her comments as I drove pastno money.
Wal-Mart tonight. A mom and her two teenagedNow that my girls are women and my grandsons
daughters walked directly in front of my van. Theyhave arrived, I've begun to define myself as a
crossed the road without taking a second to checkgrandfather. And I like it. A lot.
for traffic. I couldn't relate. Not one bit. I still put my