New York, New York and Other Cultural Myths

My agent, Nancy Ellis, a Californian, is in New Yorkdriver bowed slightly to my guests.
pitching my second novel. I learned also today that aEnsconced in the luxury of the limo, I caught Neville' s
friend had moved to New York to take over a publiceye in the rearview mirror. "Neville, would you confirm
relations firm. The combination of these twoour reservations with Tre Scalini." He nodded, picked
migrations sent me reeling back through my Newup the phone, and instead, quietly called to get
York memories.directions to Tre Scalini.
A couple of decades ago I was in New York for a"Tre Scalini! That's one of my favorite restaurants,"
dinner meeting with the Food and Beverage Directorexclaimed my guest's wife. He had the questioning
of a potential airline client for my airline cateringlook of a man wondering when we had discussed
business. I finished dressing early and picked up afavorite New York restaurants.
"what's happening in NY" kind of magazine in theExiting the limo, I hung back from my guests. "Neville,
room. A piece on cozy little New York bars talkedI'm a poor man, what is this costing me?"
about Chumley's 86 in Greenwich Village. The writer"Tell you what. I'll go cruise for some more rides and
pointed out Chumley's was called the "no name bar"come back about 10:45 to pick you up." He grinned
because it didn't have an exterior sign - a holdoverthat big Caribbean grin. "I'll just charge you $125.00
from it's speakeasy days. Still with time to spare, Ifor the whole evening."
went downstairs and out on the sidewalk to "New"Done."
York up," so to speak.After a gastronomic extravaganza and an expense
Note: There's no time here to philosophize about theaccount debacle, we were once again enjoying the
love/hate New York syndrome that bothers bothlimo life. "It seems early. How about having a drink at
New Yorkers and outlanders. I've just never boughtChumley's 86 down in the village." I nodded to Neville
into all that "if you can make it here, you can makewho instantly grabbed up the phone, asking for
anywhere" New York stuff.directions in hushed tones.
I stepped into a cool, clear January, Manhattan"Chumley's 86?" My guest and his wife looked at
evening. Standing toes-to-curb, I was captivated by aeach other and shrugged.
city sparkling as gloriously as its post cards. A man"Yeah. It's a cozy little place with a fireplace. Kind of
like myself, standing curbside in an out-of-styleinteresting, really. It's called the No Name Bar because
overcoat, looking up at the buildings is a beacon tothey have no street sign - a holdover from it's
any alert New Yorker. I barely noticed the approachspeakeasy days."
of the battleship class limousine. Purring noiselessly, itNow they looked at each other with that "how does
docked curbside with the driver's window squarelyhe know so much about New York" look.
abeam.When we later closed Chumley's, our table had
"Need a lift, sir?" asked the driver in full dressgrown to include my two guests, Neville, three
chauffeur's uniform.ex-Bostonite young lion investment bankers who
Under normal circumstances I would answer in onecomplained from the next table that there were no
word, but the enormity of this situation was toogirls in New York, and the six lovely young ladies I
much for an outlander. "Well, I didn't set out to get ahad invited to join us, proving there actually are girls
limo." I said with as much poise as I could muster.women in New York.
"Be glad to take you anywhere." The accent wasDid I get the contract? Of course. So what's so
Caribbean, the smile genuine.tough about New York?
"You're kidding of course," I replied, "limos don't cruiseEpilogue
for rides -- do they?"Neville it turned out was a wonderful person and a
"Sure do," the smile was infectious.down home philosopher of some note. I always
"Most cities require 24 hour notice for a limo to keeplooked him up on subsequent New York Trips. On
them from competing with cabs."one occasion I was seated with Neville and two
"City likes us to cruise during rush hours - not enoughTexas friends at the front window table of a small
cabs, ya know." I doubted it was true, but that's ok.deli. The sidewalk was packed with people hurrying in
At that moment my guests walked up behind me,both directions.
"Well, are you ready for a big night, Bill?"I pointed out at the crowded sidewalk. "Neville, look
"Sure thing, hop in." I smiled and gestured toward theat all those people. Why don't they get out of here,
limo. They froze in there tracks. It was oneupmanshipgo somewhere, and get a life?"
of prodigious proportions. The driver was alreadyHe leaned back, looking at the ceiling. "New York is a
opening the door to a cavernous luxury seldompretty easy place to be. You can always make
afforded the common taxi rider.somethin' off a somebody." He paused for a
"You're kidding, right?"moment. "Actually, New York is like a giant University.
"Not at all." I smiled. "I'd like you to meet my driver . .Folks come here and learn stuff, then they get on
."back to where they come from. But they gotta be
"Your driver?careful, 'cause New York'll getcha if ya don't watch
"Of Course."out."
"Neville. Neville Comma, sir." Flawless timing as theI guess that about sums it up.