| New York, NY - It was discovered yesterday that | | | | New York City. |
| New York is, indeed, the center of the Universe. | | | | As with many studies this one is not without |
| Pooling the resources of the American Astrophysics | | | | controversy. Based on the data it seems unclear |
| Association, NASA, and We Are The World (NYC, | | | | whether Wall Street or Broadway is the actual |
| that is), the four-year study analyzed the | | | | center. From some numbers the exact center seems |
| gravitational pull of the Universe and other factors. | | | | to be Broadway and 34th Street. Other numbers |
| "So?," asked Mike Spano, 23, from SoHo, "this is | | | | indicate the small deli shop on Wall and Rector. |
| news? I've been telling everyone this for years." | | | | "Who doesn't know that New York City is the center |
| Dr. John Smithberg, PhD, from WATW (BTI), said, | | | | of the world?" Sammy DaBull, 21, from the Upper |
| "When I earned my degree, from NYU, I knew that | | | | East Side asked. "All my friends agree with me!" |
| proving New York City was the center of the world | | | | The study also added that there is no need for |
| was my calling." | | | | people from NYC to know about anything outside of |
| The study used advanced analysis tools on the data | | | | New York. It explains that, while it helps to be aware |
| from the Hubbel telescope. They were able to | | | | of The Jersey Shore and Miami, there is no need to |
| calculate, based on astral rotations, that the | | | | know where such states as Louisiana and Canada are |
| gravitational pull of the Universe was centered around | | | | located. |